We were having this huge fight about a stupid thing I don't even remember now.
What I remember is his words to me, that day.
Tears were dried up on my cheeks, and I asked "Why? If you are so tired of me, so irritated of me, why would you chose me, why would you chose to keep loving me, there is still a way out you know." He laughed and then stated something as an obvious fact, "Oh, believe me if I could chose to not fall in love with you, I would have done that. I could have saved myself from this misery. I would have chosen a less insecure person, someone with stable emotions.
Instead, I fell for you, because I had to.
It wasn't a choice. I just had to fall for this cute big chubby ball until later when I found out that she is a mini volcano. It was involuntary, my love, like your over-thinking. It happened slow, like your mind. ohh, there is no way out. you are you and I am me, and we are all that we have.
The fear that you have that I will find someone better is useless. I am too exhausted from handling such a cry baby to find love again.
There is no one but you, you dumbwit.
Now get your shit together, I am going to take a shower and then we will order chinese."
picture by : @krrappiva
Love, peace and everything else! .
Students shiver with fear
As the exams draw near
Eyes filled with tears
For wasting a whole year
Had they worked hard earlier
All would have been happier.
If you wish to secure marks that are rosier.
Children, do not feel the fright.
Face the exams with all your might.
Go and reach the stars.
Victory will be yours.
We are like the food and the education is the ingredient.
We are like the trees and the education is the leaves.
We are the players of the game of education.
Pain pushes us to focus on life's important quests.
None of us want the pain. We can't stand its bitterness; but, we cannot avoid nor ignore it. It comes for a noble cause; more than just to hurt us.
As victor Frankl put it in his book, Man's Search For Meaning, "He who has a WHY to live for can bear any HOW". Our goal is not to simply despise pain, although it's an a**hole. We are called to understand and discover its meaning, its lessons, its purpose and life existential answers hidden behind.
Not every pain is real, some are just self-fabricated illusions based on social expectations. Find the source. If it's not under your control, go for the meaning. Slay his a** when it's self-created.
Never let pain make you bitter. Use it to become better.
Shimmer in his eyes. The sound of bells. He was hallucinating once again. This wasn’t nostalgia. No! It was infact the exact opposite of it. The urge of being somewhere that you have never been to while being sure that that place will elevate the heaviness of your soul and you shall once again feel cleansed and whole. Where was this place? What would this place be like? Will it be well lit and scened with the flowers from the heaven? Will it have open terracne and vast fields where you can run forever. Where spring will be eternal and the sky will only show its friendly colours. Where each and everything will resonate with purity and heart. A place whose aroma will instantly make an individual realise that he is safe. That at last, he is home. Or will it be cosy and grandiose? Will it have all the luxious furniture and show pieces aligned with the cosmic stars that shine beyond the dome ceiling which shelters him. The dome which depicts all his heroic triumphs. The battles that he has won in and out. Not to forget the eternal heat from the fireplace whose flame will embody his will and desire to achieve all that he has. Will that fire burn just right to keep him comfortable in cold long nights? How beautiful it will be to be in a place where you need no validation. Where your existence truly matters so much so that the stars would cease to shine if it wasn’t for you. A place which celebrates your being. A place, be it a vast field of heavenly flowers or a cosy room below cosmic stars, which is truly his. The place that protects him. The place which grows with him, cares for him, weeps with him, laughs with him, loves with him, breaks with him. A place which lives for him and dies for him. He took a long hard look in the mirror. He scanned his body from head to toe. He touched his cheeks and rubbed his stomach.
He found the place. [Continued]
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Look around yourself. Look at the people surrounding you. They seem at peace. They seem normal. What you don’t know is that everyone is a ticking bomb waiting to explode into extremity. Tick Tick Tick boom.
They are waiting. You think they are sleeping, driving, working. No. They are waiting for the next big thing to hit them. The void inside them won’t let them be. They need the rush. They are in constant need of it, to prove themselves that they aren’t just passing by. They need someone to hate, they need someone to talk, they need something to cry about. They need misery, pain, affection, troubles. Which idiot wants relief anyway, that thing is for the dead.
Look around yourself before telling me that I am crazy. Crazy is just another word with mediocre definition on goggle. Crazy are these people.
As for me, I am a girl in love. I carry fire inside me, not void. I am the girl dressed up in a red gown waiting for a guy who is going to break my heart in next two months.
I am that frosty breath, the chattering teeth because his voice is far better than the blanket on a winter night.
I am that laughter which brings tears, in the middle of the road completely oblivious of the world except him.
I am the cries, the shouting, the crashing plates, the blood dripping on the floor from the glass that broke the minute he told me to calm down.
Look at me in the eye. Feel my pain, my exhilaration, my longing, my happiness towards temporary people. Feel all that and then call me crazy, only to know that it’s a very mediocre word to describe me.
picture by : @krrappiva
Love, peace and everything else! .